just a small bowl
1 Sep
He comes to pick up the girls a few times each week, often arriving right at dinnertime. I cannot seem to let go of the feeling that I am still responsible for feeding him, so I offer him some food. Minestrone and crusty rosemary bread, pork and pineapple stir-fry with jasmine rice. Food made for a family that is his, and isn’t is. He always says no before he says yes.
Just a small bowl, he eventually agrees, and stands at the corner of the table to eat. He never sits. Somehow I think it would be too much for any of us to bear.
We talk about everything, and nothing, like it’s really all okay. And it is okay. Except that it isn’t, cannot be, not really.
And I am aware, in those moments, that there is no finite end to a breaking heart.
And they say, the light comes through the cracks.
Beautiful and yes, heartbreaking. xoxo
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I have read your blog for a while – but wanted to comment on this post. You conveyed that situation perfectly…and I completely understand. Thanks for putting in writing what was spinning around in my head.
cctjt
I love your writing. You have such a gift for poetically describing the emotions so many of us feel on this journey. I am not a poet but I have started a blog as well to journal and share my experience as a 40 something woman, wife, mother, who has fallen in love with a woman. The site is http://www.theawakeningofsasha.com. I hope people will find somthing there that is helpful. Thank you for your beautiful blog. Sasha
are you still blogging? i’ve enjoyed reading your poetry and postings, hope you haven’t given up.
I have just found your blog and I am so crazy in love with it. Everything…your writing style, your humor, your sentiment. Everything. I love love love it. Ah! I love it. Did I say I love it? Well I love it. In fact, I love it so much that I would marry you right here and now so you could pen me love poems. Because I love it.
I never thought I would find the same situtation I am in. I knew they had to be out there, but I didn’t know where to go. Thank you, I feel your emotions to my soul, I feel them because they too are mine. I’m still in my marriage, but feel dead inside. I want to feel alive, life is a gift and too short.. Again your story is an inspiration.
J,
We all miss you!
N