ten years
28 Aug
ten years today
and I love him.
truly
still
always
no less than I did then
really, I will love him
Forever
I didn’t know what that word meant
not really
until well after the end
now Forever has a context
that I can grasp
Forever is wedged
like an ache in my heart
between the memories
of his tears at the end
of the red carpeted aisle
and his tears the nights
our daughters were
born
and his tears the day
i choose to stay away
instead of coming when he called.
you know, love has nothing to do
with gay or straight or
the number i select to represent myself
on some scientifically proposed
continuum of sexuality
or whether this is my definition of
intrinsically right
or someone else’s definition of
inherently wrong
because love lives in
an entirely different
place than dogma
and structure
and schemes of classification
and division
and it even lives in a place
beyond time
today i balance
the need to honor this love
for him
without dishonoring
her
because
both are a part of me
now
you see
regret is not always a synonym
for mistake
and it is true that
self-inflicted wounds
often take the longest
to heal
and so today
ten years later
there is no celebration
no sappy love cards
no declarations
but there is the memory
and those exquisitely beautiful girls
who are the reason for everything
and the love
there will always be the love
Forever.
Mine would have been 10 years on September 18th. I understand completely.
Thank you so much for putting into poetry the feelings that seem to exist beyond the boundaries of our words. Bless you.
This was beautiful and so full of soul.
Thinking of you. xo
Powerful & beautifully written -wow.